*Trigger warning. I talk about pregnancy loss and trauma in this blog post.
Where is God in my suffering?
A question I know many have asked.
As Christians most of us are quick to attribute the good things, the apparent blessings, to God. Praise You Jesus for _______ ! (fill in the blank). We love to share the good things that are happening to us.
But what happens when tragedy strikes? The loss of a loved one, a terminal diagnosis, being laid off, etc. How many of us would think to praise God in those situations? More often than not, our response is “Why God?” We may even be angry.
What do you do when it feels like God is absent, like he’s abandoned you to suffer alone?
The answer is simple: cling to His Word.
When suffering strikes
There is no way to fully prepare yourself for the day when suffering comes.
Last October I experienced a trauma that I honestly never thought would happen to me. I found myself doubled over in my bathroom in excruciating pain, feeling a lot like I was dying. As it turns out, I was.
Had I waited any longer to call out for my husband and go to the ER, I probably wouldn’t be here.
The pain was caused by a ruptured tube from an ectopic pregnancy. I was slowly bleeding out into my abdomen. By the time we had reached the hospital, I had lost about 40% of my blood.
It was a whirlwind of events. From the ER, to an ambulance, to the OR.
As I was being wheeled back to my room after the surgery was over, I remember thinking to myself, “Suck it up Jeanna, don’t cry. You have to be strong.”
You see, I’ve always been the type to suffer in silence. My suffering is something that I’ve never wanted anyone else to see. I’m not good at sharing my feelings.
Honestly, at that time I felt pretty numb. I had been excited to take a pregnancy test the next morning. And the knowledge that I was pregnant and then just as quickly I was not pregnant, was too much for me to think about.
I felt alone in my own world of pain and suffering.
Where do we turn?
Our hope comes from God. Our hope comes from His Word. These are things we know to be true. It can be hard to hold on to these truths in the midst of suffering.
But that’s just it. God is right there with us as we suffer, as we hurt, as we mourn. Even when answers don’t come and you feel all alone.
Leah talked last week about abiding. And that’s just what we need to do. Read. Pray. Be a part of a community.
I no longer feel the pain of an open wound. But I do bear the scars of the trial. Finding hope in God’s Word was my saving grace. Bible journaling helped draw me back in to the presence of the One who holds it all, and gave me perspective.
I don’t understand the purpose of my suffering right now, I may never understand the purpose. But I do know that God is sovereign. I know that He walks alongside us through our pain. If for nothing else, our wounds bring us closer to our Heavenly Father.
If you are walking through a period of pain and suffering, run to the Father. Cling to His Words. Find peace and rest and hope in His promises. If you need someone to talk to send us an email: faithheirlooms @ gmail.com
